What gesture/gift to a jewish Family upon death of child?

My old bosses%26#039; daughter passed away. I%26#039;m Catholic and have no idea of what to do for a gift. We give mass cards, but what are the Jewish customs for this? Someone said to have a tree planted in Isreal in her name. Can someone guide me? He meant a lot to me and I knew her when she was born, but haven%26#039;t seen her since she was about 6 or 7 and I%26#039;d like to let the family know I care.

What gesture/gift to a jewish Family upon death of child?
Make a contribution to a charity in the memory of the child. An amount that is a multiple of $18 is traditional, as 18 is the value of the word %26quot;chai%26quot; (life) in Hebrew. It can be the charity of your choice, or one they have specified for the purpose (check the obituary); you can also donate to the memorial fund of her synagogue if you know which one it is.





A tree in Isreal is also a very nice gesture. I%26#039;m including a link below to a group that will do this on your behalf and will send a card acknowledging the gift to her family. (The family is NOT interested in seeing the receipt as someone suggested; that%26#039;s just crass, and would be considered insulting by most Jews.)





The one thing that you should NOT do is send flowers; for us, flowers are considered to be for happy times, and clearly a death of a child is not a happy occasion.





If you want to show your respect, visit the family AFTER the first week; during the first week they will be sitting shiva for her. Do not take food unless you%26#039;d like to take something akin to a fruit basket, as things not prepared in appropriate fashion would not be kosher. If you want to go to a service, the graveside service would be best, most of the time.





My sympathies to you and your boss; may God comfort all who mourn in Zion.





I%26#039;m Jewish.
Reply:Yes, to plant a tree in her name is a nice gesture and you can get a gift certificate sent to him with her name on it. Call a local synagogue to inquire how. It would be appreciated.


Also, don%26#039;t send flowers to the funeral, it is not the custom (flowers die....). Often, a small donation is made %26quot;in memory%26quot; of the person, to their synagogue or to a local charity. That is customary. You can also send a sympathy card. If you call the synagogue, ask if he is sitting shiva, which means he will be home and guests are invited to stop by. If you do stop by, you should follow his lead in the conversation....he may not want to discuss his daughter, or he may only want to focus on her...whichever his heart leads is where you go. And grief is grief, no matter what a person%26#039;s religion is, so don%26#039;t be afraid to offer condolence.
Reply:I am Jewish.


Give to a charity in the name of the girl. Donate things in her name. Take over a kosher dish of some sort (fruit and vegetable trays are good). Right now it is Passover so it can%26#039;t contain leavened products like flour and things like that.


Fruit is good.





Heres a list of Jewish charities


http://www.tzedaka.org/





Here is the web site to plant a tree in Israel


http://www.jnf.org/site/PageServer?pagen...





It also doesnt have to be Jewish. If she was interested in things like education, the special olympics, homeless or things like you can give to you local charities in her name.





I am sure it will mean a lot to him. I am sorry for the family . It is sad to have a death but a death on Passover because that is such a family time has to be even more hard.
Reply:According to Jewish tradition....


Condolences in person or a sympathy card will be fine.


If you%26#039;d like to do more you could make a donation to a hospital, school, synagogue in memory of the deceased. You could even ask the father what organization they would like a donation made to.


And yes, a tree in Israel is always a good gesture.


Hope I%26#039;ve been helpful.
Reply:I just asked this question not long ago and was told the things Trish said, with one other suggestion. Someone said if I were going to visit that instead of food I might want to offer to run an errand, pick up things that were needed from the store, etc. That all depends on how close you are to the family. The gesture of the tree in Israel always seems to touch families.





My condolences to your boss%26#039;s family.
Reply:I am Jewish, and Trish%26#039;s answer is excellent; she has given you good advice and a good source for the tree if that%26#039;s what you choose to do.
Reply:You could go online and donate money to plant a Tree in Israel in her memory, and then send them a card to let them know.





You could ask them what favorite charity they would like a donation made to.





This would be best.
Reply:Treat them like any other person who has lost a child. There is no need for you to quote any scripture. Send a beautiful card saying something on the line of .............my deepest sympathies.
Reply:Don%26#039;t fear so much about getting the wrong thing. It%26#039;s your heart that will do the speaking, not so much the gift. He will appreciate your thoughts regardless of the gift.
Reply:I%26#039;d leave religion out of it an send a hand-written sympathy card.
Reply:Why can%26#039;t you just send them a card?
Reply:What a terrible thing to happen; my condolences. So far, Trish has given the most correct and complete answer. Trust her.
Reply:Condolence card, and attend funernal. Maybe seven Minorah candles, white in color.
Reply:Yes, the best gift would be to plant a tree in Israel in her name. But if you can%26#039;t go there


for this, you can give charity wherever you live in the name of the child, but bring the receipt to the parents of the child. That%26#039;s how you can be of a consolation for the bereaved family. Be sure the name of the child in on the receipt.
Reply:Maybe just a card with some heart felt condolences and flowers. I%26#039;m jewish and trust me, when my grandma died no amount of gifts made it better. All it did was clutter our house. I did though like that someone sent us flowers and a really nice card. You don%26#039;t need anything fancy, just show them that you care.
Reply:Please read the information at the link below that%26#039;ll take you to the web pages on etiquette at a Jewish Funeral.





Please do accept my condolences for your loss.





All the best.





ST
Reply:Mass cards are nice. My mother is Catholic %26amp; My dad is Jewish.





My mom has masses said for his deceased family members all the time.





Prayers are always nice in any religion.
Reply:A blender.





Always works.
Reply:A jar of pig%26#039;s feet.
Reply:flowers cards words


hugs



www.poetry.com