What do you guys think of my comedy sketch i just came up with?

Yo what is with kids today and their crazy trends?I saw a kid walkin around yesterday with a mohawk.Who gets a mohawk in this day and age?Probably just some poser who thinks he’s some cool ************ ya know?.Nah. I...uh.....i love my mohawk.Old folks give me dirty looks and parents hold their kids closer when they’re near me-I love it.Finally, a way to scare people off without having to use the energy to open my mouth.It’s like a gift from god, really.


Drugs:


Yeah, I’m around weed alot.But i can’t help it.I really can’t, ya know?It’s not my fault though, I mean........It’s everywhere.......on the streets, in movies......uhh..........in................ hand, baking in my oven, growing in my backyard.........I really can’t escape the stuff.And I know a lot of parentss out there are pretty edgey on the whole subject.


My advice to parents who comittted the shameful act of smoking weed as kids?Lie.Because without your trust, they will grow up better people......or.......at least.......that seems to be the golden rule.......right?


God, my parents must want me dead right now,


But seriously, addiction is a very serious matter.......I remember it pretty well .....i remember my uhh...........my addiction .....to........ headies.Took me a while to get back to the midgrade ****.Had to take classes for it.Thank god for their twelve step program.%26quot;Ain’t got the cash?Downgrade the stash%26quot;


And whats with the funny look i’m gettin for pickin up my copy of high times at the bookstore?Motherfuckers just give me this look.I’m like%26quot;I only read it for the production values%26quot;.








I’m a big supporter of NORML.That’s the uh......National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws.Of course, my beliefs differ slightly from their’s.They believe marijuana shouldn’t be smoked behind the wheel.....but lets be honest........music is just way too good to be enjoyed sober, especially when doing something as monotonous as driving around. They say it slows reaction time, sure, but so does reading the speed limit sign........the point is......it’s a fair trade, and I would happily risk the lives of myself and others to get the full effect out of my Cream CD.








Well....all of this is just a prime example of how an innocent child like me can become a slave to the menacing narcotic known as marijuana.


So parents out there-I’m tellin ya’.Keep your kids away from that **** it’s bad news.Instead buy them a new set of glue or keep the Robitussin sitting out.Better to let your child OD from household items than to have him/her destroy the sanctity of the family unit by inhaling the evil fumes of that entirely illegal plant.Because lets be honest, we’d rather our kids OD and die from household items than let tham have to live with the shame of knowing they once got high on reefers.





Its funny though.I mean, if a kid really wants to get high these days....and I mean really needs to get high....guess what he can do?.......Kids today are now pissing and shitting in plastic bags, and fermenting them in the hot sun for days to a week and inhaling the fumes from it and they actually trip.They trip for hours off this ****(literally).I call it **** sniffing, but it’s more commonly reffered to as just plain........well......sniffing ****.Pretty ****** up isn’t it?Ya know who I blame?You.Every parent out there who has discouraged or bypassed an explaination of safe drug use.Yes.It’s all your fault kids have discovered these discgusting ways of getting high. Your suburban idealogies have backfired on you once again.Congratulations, because its because of you that we now have kids choking themselves to get high.











Electoral ****:


Yeah.The electoral race is getting pretty heated right now. I’m a little dissapointed though . Everyone’s platform seems to be %26quot;change%26quot;.Now I know as well as most do that Americans are stupid , but my god. What the **** kind of platform is that?Hillary says we need change.Obama says we need change.Anybody remember what happened in germany in 1939?Yup.That ******* culprit, %26quot;change%26quot;.......Which is why I’m voting for Ron Paul. Cause at the end of the day, the *****, the bully, and the brother just ain’t cuttin it.


I love John Mccain though.%26quot;Let us Win%26quot; ..................Mr Mccain, you can’t win the war on terror.Wanna know why?Because terror......ain’t a ******* people.


See?It’s just like the war on drugs, which I’ve also been told we’re fairly close to winning.


You think the dumbasses in Washington could have at least come up with a better name for this war, like........the %26quot;War on Americans%26quot;.Cause thats what it really is when you think about it. They’re breaking the law everyday to spend mine and your hard earned money destroying......and then rebuilding a country that never threatened our %26quot;freedom%26quot; in the first place.


But I digress......John Mccain is just a third Bush and if you’re thinking of voting for him, you need to be taken to a dark room and shot in the face.





Religion:


I’m not a big fan of religion, either.I was raised Jewish and I’m proud to be, but I don’t study it anymore.Honestly, it’s a phase.It’s all a phase.For some people, that phase lasts their entire life, but thankfully I matured relatively early on.But ya know what?I still get a lot of crap about the whole jesus thing .I remember a kid angrily telling me once %26quot;you jews killed jesus%26quot;.I looked at him, held my hands up and said %26quot;what can i say? butterfingers%26quot;.Haha. No but jesus was a good guy.Got a little too attached to that cross though, but otherwise, a good guy.

What do you guys think of my comedy sketch i just came up with?
real funny, jack*$$


yea, thats my script.


lemme tell u something,-if ur ever a heckler in my audience, I%26#039;ll rip you a new @$$hole, buddy.
Reply:a few small chuckles, but nothing really funny
Reply:hahahaha.





Bet %26quot;Josh R%26quot; is pretty happy about this...
Reply:wow



c++